Some back story on Indian giving. It’s basically a term that was coined for those who give gifts and expects to receive either that gift back or something in return at a later time.
So tonight, I decided to go to a bar because I felt abnormally out of place, I mean, I’ve been feeling out of place for the past few months, but tonight in particular was just overly depressing and I needed a drink. Just trying to clear up my mind of my recent-not-so-recent break up.. well I got dumped, but that’s beside the point. In any case, I headed to some rinky dink hole in the wall bar. Three or maybe four drinks in, I started getting a mild buzz and went outside for a little fresh air. Looked around and there were a few people outside talking story amongst each other and some were smoking cigarettes, made me kind of want one, but I forced the urge not to smoke. Decided to vape on my electronic one instead.
Couple puffs in and I’m beginning to feel a lot better, a lot more relaxed, but all of a sudden something snapped me out of my little day dream. Off in the distance I hear two voices screaming and yelling at one another; some sort of verbal argument. “Fuck you” a female voice screamed. “Fucking worthless shit” a male yelled back. Typical lovers quarrel at a bar, nothing out of the ordinary, it happens all the time when people get drunk, they say stupid shit they don’t mean, and then move on. I didn’t pay attention much, I was just trying to get away from my problems, not take on other people’s problems.
As I drifted off, trying to forget my sorrows, something snapped me out of it again. I heard the man yell out “Oh yeah!? You’re gonna leave me? After all that expensive shit I bought you? what about that purse, that necklace, that iPod, that phone? You better give all that shit back!” followed by a loud slap. This dude hit her; are you fucking serious? The woman started to cry as she reached in her purse, grabbed a few things out of it, and shoved it back at him. “Here! Take it back!”.
Here is where things start to piss me off. For some reason, I felt the overbearing need to butt in and stop things, but by then the cops already came and things were beginning to solve itself. It didn’t change the fact that this still upset me. When you give something to someone, you’re not supposed to expect anything back. That’s what I learned growing up, you give things because you appreciate that person, because you care about that person. You never ever expect something in return or especially never take it back no matter the circumstances. That’s Indian Giving. That’s what I learned growing up, that’s common sense to me. Just because shit happens, doesn’t give you the right to start forcing the other person to give back the “gifts” you gave them. If you think otherwise, you must be a moron.
Now this really upset me because not that long ago, I bought an iPod for an ex-girlfriend. When we broke up, she offered to return it to me, she had actually put it back in the packaging and presented it to me after our break up. Of course, I declined. I told her just because we’re breaking up, doesn’t change the fact that I bought that for her and the fact that I was in love with her when I bought it. I appreciate that she offered it back, but growing up, I was taught that gifts are just that, they are gifts, and they are meant to be given from the heart. Gifts make people happy, and whether or not things change or feelings disappear, it doesn’t change the fact that those feelings were once there.
In any case back to the bar scene, I was extremely angry at this guy because he went against everything I was taught growing up. You never hit a girl, You never yell at one, and this whole Indian giving thing made me even more upset. Needless to say, I went home in a worse feeling than when I left, that whole drink my sorrow away worked for like half an hour until that couple made me remember what happened with my ex, and I began to feel sad again. Anyway, that ends my night and this long rant.